It was the middle of a crazy weekend night shift in the ER in Iowa.  I had just finished my residency in emergency medicine in Chicago   The night was stupid busy.  There were patients everywhere.  Sick ones, mad ones, drunk ones blue ones.  They called me into a room with a twenty-ish male patient who was accompanied by police.  Evidently he had been stealing his parents stuff, pawning it and buying whatever drugs he can get his hands on.   That night he had been drinking/druggin and was so sleepy he could barely keep his eyes open.   When he did open his eyes he was profane to officers and nursing staff.  I entered the room at the tail end of a slew of cursing…  He could barely keep his eyes open and then he started cussing me too.   He was obviously very intoxicated and high on illicit drugs.  I said “Dude, why don’t you move to Chicago, there are a BUNCH of drug addicts THERE?”  

The patient barely opened one eye and said, “Why don’t YOU move to Chicago, there are a bunch of DOCTORS there too!”.